I've always been independent. At age 4, my mom, as President of my brother's suburban public school PTO, would sit me in a room alone 2 days a week and find worksheets for me to do all day.
Skipped first grade, alone.
On family vacations my parents would hand me a map and tell me to go explore on my own. I got pretty good at telling police officers I was fine and safe.
Skipped third grade math, alone. Even rode a school bus between the middle and elementary schools alone.
Went to a public university in Alabama, 13 hours away from home in Houston, not knowing a single person there.
Moved to NYC for work, also knowing no one.
~30 of 56 countries I've visited, alone.
Even last September I decided to move to Dubai for work, alone. I realized 3 months after my move to Dubai that I hadn't even thought of my friends and relationships in NYC before accepting the work transfer. Halfway across the world and I gave it literally zero thought.
A huge consequence of my lifestyle has been the inability to trust in others, especially in their ability to get things done. My grandmother, a Lithuanian refugee who grew up in the slums of Venezuela, would always repeat to me "You cannot sit and wait for anyone to do things for you." While no doubt a good survival mantra, this is something I have to unlearn and replace with Trust + Vulnerability. Trust that teams can execute and goals can be met without shouldering the entire burden myself, and vulnerability that I don't have to go it alone, and literally can't go it alone if I want to accomplish great things.
Learning to trust others while maintaining one's vulnerability (quiet confidence) are crucial traits of great leaders. Thank you for your vulnerability in this post, Drake!
ReplyDeleteDrake - I just wanted to let you know how much I admire you for your bravery in verbalizing this...and how much I resonate with the thoughts you share about the balance of trust in others and self-reliance. Although I come from a very different background "on paper" (only child of two McKinsey consultants with 3 graduate degrees between them), I am very much wrestling with the same topic, i.e., when it's right to define my own path and run full-steam-ahead without any heed to what/who is around me, versus when it is right to grab the hands around me and march forward to a shared beat. When you figure it out, let me know, ok? haha :) Jokes aside, I'd love to keep this conversation going and share learnings/thoughts/reflections!
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